Saturday, December 20, 2008
2.08amits a boring friday nite..i'm alone in this rm..he's out wif his frenz again..me: deardear, will u b miting me 2nite?him: dun tink so,got car to send at 11+, but i wil b hm awhile to shit.me: den u sending the car le den go hm n shit huh? den u going out after tat?him: i going hm shit b4 10pmden afta tat go out again. i 2nite properly no car coz oli lef fit den ber no car.me: okok.. den u wil b with them for the whole nite?him: nt veri sure. u gt any plan wif amy?me: no i dun have any plan wif her,i nv contact anione. u wana have ur own time mah?him: ermz.. i tink so..me: okok.. but at least let me noe whr u going k?him: after 11pm den i c gt go whr den i let u noe k?me: okok .. u take care sayang~him: ya, u take care too..11+pmhim: we go Dzess..me: okok..dun drink so much.. take care,anything msg me.. k?him: kkz..is tis wat couples is like?i forcing myself to endure..i reali wish tat he can reali tel me whats on his mind.. he once told me, he got no intentions of getting married wif me.. he's just leading a day as its goes with me.. i noe i cldnt blame him.. coz i'm the cause of it..he felt insecured being wif me..he duno when will i say those things to hurt him.. make him angry.. saying things tat i always nv think of the consequences..i blame myself.. y cant i control my emotions better.. y cant i control my temper n anger better?this way wil he love me more?will he care n concern abt me more?what shld i do?my mind is in a whril.. i wan him to b happy..but being together with me will it bring him happiness?is he happy wif me? what does he wans?what can i give him? what can i do for him?what does he wants from me?deardear, i miss you everyday every minutes and every second..even when u're just next to me.. u seem near but yet so far..i can't see the smile the laughters u have when u're with your friends then with me..i can't find the right conversation to start with you.. i'm so afraid of doing the wrong things at the wrong time.. i'm so afraid of saying the wrong things to provoke you.. which i hope i can take it back.i wish i can do the right things to please you.. not the wrong things that irritates u..i'm sorry.. things happen so suddenly,i realli dont mean it..u can yell at me,u can scold me.. but please dun ignore me.. please dun give me the cold shoulder.. i really couldnt take it.. the moment u ignoring me.. the moment u say u're busy.. the moment where i can feel tat u dun wana c my pressence,dun wana hear my voice.. the times i know tat u're avoiding me.. wanna have time on ur own.. i noe u're tired.. having to avoid me making urself so tired to come back hm so late at nite.. i apologized..sorry to have u so shag out.. i will learn to let go.. not bothering you animore.. i sincerely just wanna c that u're happy.. i wanna make you happy.. i dun wish to add any agony to ur life animore.. i wanna c ur face with smile hear ur voive with laughters..i tink this is the best i can do for u and myself.. at the same time i'm putting the pain that i'm having to the least.do take care.. sayang~ love & miss u deeply..
02:07; secrets.
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PROFILE
LYNN
simply a girl who love being pampered n doted on..
always letting her imaginations go wild.. easy agitated by the smallest thing n delighted by the simplest thing..
clumsy and silly.. all she hav is "butter fingers" breaking and dropping things is her hobbies..
secondly,"itchy hands n mouth" are part of her too.. she's juz an useless dumb in the world waiting for her big day to fall..