12.10am
oh,its early tis time when i wrote my blog..
haix.. things wasnt smoothly for me..
for this past 2 weeks i hav being wrking for only 4days!! yes its only 4days..
OMG! my pay wil gona b peanuts!
but wat to do.. i hav only myself to blame..
didnt handle things well..
yeah!..my xiao zhu zai hav started a job today..
and he's so tired after a whole day of work..
how i wish i cld sayang him..
but dun tink he wil need it.. lolx..
i noe he needs SLEEP!
i understand,i didnt mek things nasty for him although i wasnt hapi the whole out of today..
kaox! i didnt report for work for so many days and yet pile of pile of stocks is waiting for me to be done.. so unfair to me.. y cant they b the one doing?
y muz i b the one? i'm taking the same pay as them,but y am i doing more job den they are?
juz cant get enuf of nagging n complaining!!
so sick! its being lik duno how long i hav being doing the things.y cant they b cooperative?
even they tried is apprechiated..
but they juz dump ther lik nobody businesse..
and when i'm ther,ITS MY BUSINESSE!! WTF!!
ok,fine nvm.. aniwae i'm used to it!
i hav a funi feeling.. or mayb a stupid feeling..
ever since he told me he wil b located at bedok i juz gt a strange feelings..
an uneasy feelings..
i felt tat he wil juz met up wif "her"..
mayb its a coincident but i juz dun lik the feelings when i cum to tink of it..
singapore is such a small country so who wil noe what wil happen?
who wil u bump into? rite?
i noe i shldnt dwell on it,but this thing juz keep spinning in my mind..
i reali cant find the slight confidence in myself..
i duno one day or watsoeva he wil juz leave me..
i admit i'm afraid of losing him but i'm nt secured when i'm with him..
i duno wat shld i do? feeling so confused.. :(
juz ytd he hav said something which hurts me again..
1st incident
he: help me take out benben's card inside the box."
me: (i was looking inside the box searching for the card) den he said tis...
"jiao ni zhuo dong xi zhen de hen xing ku"
cant u give ppl time when doing thing?
am i reali such a failure?
2nd incident
we're playing on the bed,but it reali late le..
tmr he stil gota report at 10am at the office.
but i'm juz trying to ask him to hug me mah..didnt sae much..
den he raise his voice..
"aiyah,wo ming tian 10am hai tek report to office leh!"
ok loh,dun hav to b so angry mah..
sorie.. dint meant to provoke u..
juz wana b hugged by u,tats all..
he's always so harsh towards me..
i'm learning to accept but its seem lik i cant..
all i can is to remain in silence..bear everything to myself..
but i can sae he's being beta tis few days..
he help me wash the dishes,automatically wipe the table n bring the plates to the kitchen..
i'm apprechiated..
now all i hope is he wil b able to enjoy himself at work..
wil nt b over stress,the aircon wil b fixed so tat he wun b so hot n wun perspirate so much..
able to hav appetite to eat coz i dun wan my xiao zhu zai to lose his cutie little tummy..
love his tummy so much!!! love him so much too!!!
hope tat he wil get along wif his colleagues well,sales wil b good for him n everything going smoothly for him..
hopefully i wil b able to wake him up on time so he wldnt b nagged lik his previous job..
juz wana hear him say gd things when he's cuming to fetch me.
actually i felt fortunate to hav someone to fetch me off work everyday..
someone who wil bring me round singapore to hav nice n gd foods..
although he's tired but he wil stil do so..
tis is something of him which i reali apprechiated..n contented to have!
coz he noe i love to eat..
he wldnt mind bringing me frm here to ther jz to buy me nice foods or foods tat i crave for..
so nice of him..thank u my dear!
hmm.. our 2yrs anniversary is coming soon..
wonder wat shld i get for him leh..
its brain storming time.. lolx..
wahaha..its time for my last stick of cigratte..
and its time for me to squeeze onto the bed wif him le..
den no space end up kana kick down the bed.. lolx..
deardear,
although i always bring up the word break up lik nobody businesse but deep down my heart i noe i need u n i dun wana leave u.. nv ever forget "ever since i start of the line wif u,i wldnt wana end it wif a full stop." rem tis?
although ur snoring can b reali noisy at times but it hav became part of my life hearing it to slp..hearing it when i'm watching tv,doing things..
if only i cld b more understanding,u cld b more initiative n both of us to b more aprechiative n hav more compliments for each other wil things be beta?