4.15am
i really make up my mind into ending this relatioship.
i finally realised the guy whom i thought would b the last guy doesnt meant to be mine.
i hav woke up from my own dreamland,knowing all things r meant to b so realistic..
i though i could,i wish i would. . but everything have come to an end..
he have put a full-stop into it..
for the past coming 2yrs,now i know i'm just a fool.. dreaming in my own world..
or can i say i'm the cause to it..
i know i'm nt perfect,neither do i have great body,great figure,beautiful look or even the simplest skills to have on bed..
i shldnt blame him for what he have done coz i know i cldnt satisfised him n thats y he went tat way..
i have accepted it..
and i doubt i wil hav another who wil accept all my short comings..
i thought he did but i'm juz too foolish to believe,,
y wldnt guys wan their gf to have great body,beautiful look,good skills,sweet n obedient?
as for me,i'm juz someone to let him kick n boss ard..
raise his voice at,listen to wateva he say,be at his commands,his maid,his own toilet to use as he like,someone who he can take for-grantted..
he seldom apprechiate things that i do for him..
i tok to him but he fall aslp.. coz he's too tired..
i reali duno how shld i put it animore..
i'm reali exhausted..he wans me to understand him,who to understand me?
leaving n letting go is a relief to us..
no more quarrels..no more misintereption,no more misunderstanding,no more nagging n questions from me,
i know i'm too useless.. cant even b a gd gf..
if i am,my bf wldnt turn out tis way...
but deardear i reali wanna tel u..
from the start when i chosen u,slowly when we get closer day by day..
having break up n quarrels every down n then,
i nv stop loving u.. nv ever.. it only grows deeper..
n tat is y everytime the hurt is double..
i pin in hope,i put in time,i put in my heart n mind..
but i noe i stil didnt do it well..
but i really did tried my best,i learn to forgive n give in beta..
but i reali cant forget things that had happened..
i reali cant treat it lik nth happen before n lead life lik normal..
i simply cant forget that night at the carpark next to my hse.
how we hugged each other telling each other how much we mean to each other..
we cried..we mek promises..we tel ourselves we hav to cherish each other..nv did we wana b seperated again.. u reali meant alot to me..
i stil rem all the foolish things that i hav done for you..
things that i had brought for u,,things that u had brought for me..
things that u hav done for me.. things that u hav said to me..
everything matters alot to me..
but now i have to let go of everything..n doing the hardest thing to forget all this promises n memories..
"wo hen yi han wo bu neng gou he ni pai yi zhang mei mei hao hao de zhao bian,ye bu neng gou zai zhu fan gai ni chi le.wo zhi dao wo zhu de fan hen nan chi ke shi wo yi xin shi xiang zhu fan gei ni yi ge ren chi..wo zhen de xi wan neng gou ting dao ni shuo deardear,ni zhi de fan zhen de hen hao chi er bu shi huh,am i going to eat uncooked rice n nan chi de cai again?
sorry.. my dear i'm leaving..
i always wana tel u cherish ppl ard u especially mama.. she reali dotes on u..